AND IT'S HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MY BABY. You are finally sexteen. Remember how Gooby and I used to ostracize you (when we turned 16) cause you were only 15. Aw. Now you're sexteen.... you can erm have sex with a boy and be unable to report him to the police.

WHATEVER IT IS, YOU KNOW NESSIEBABYZ WILL ALWAYS LOVE CHA XOXOXOXOXOXO
(I just wrapped your present in teletubbies wrapping paper!) <3