i'm the bloodstain on your shirt sleeve

tonight, we'll talk about regrets. put me in a time machine and i'll go back to year 2003 and do it all over again. this time, i'll promise to do it right. because i never want to live another day, love another soul, knowing that i am settling for second best. i never want to compare another one to you, knowing that they'll never be good enough. maybe if i did it right, i would be still known as vanny. and not this chained up little disease named ness.

tonight, i fought a war for a cousin. as we said our "i love you"s, we knew this life isnt all about love and sex. it's about pain. and i personally feel that pain is just fear coming out of our bodies. we just fail to admit it. morals? morals are just for stupid people who are too afraid to do what they want. too afraid to carpe diem. i will smoke. i will smoke my whole life away. i will drink. i will drink and get hangovers til 5pm everyday. then i will smoke again, til my lungs choke up, and i'll be clinically dead. now that's carpe diem. seizing the pleasures of the moment without any care for the future.

tonight, i wondered; how come we always get intentionally hurt by the ones we love?

the truth is, i just don't want to die without a few scars.
my doctor should just stop probing me about my smoking habits. omgwtfbbq?! i am a happy girl. i am not you. i can handle anything if i can handle you. i am ready to start living life. maybe then one day i'll be brave enough to put out a cigarette with my tongue too. :P OKAY THAT SMILEY WAS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT.

Stay with me
Cigarettes in open air
Hand in hand
And I said stay with me
Cause every star that I see
Is brighter than the last

tonight, let's carpe diem. we'll never be alone again.