yesterday wasnt a mad ass fun day but still, i had good company. :-) so it was swensens, paopaocha, some tears, bvlgari perfume, long bus ride to gardens, lincoln the camwhore, mac's, lies, long bus ride home. and for once, i reached home at 12 on the dot. sorry audrey for not going to queen astrid park to save you. :-( i fell asleep at 130am.

two nights ago i dreamt that nine of us went to my dad's zen house at seattle for the long weekend. over there, my dad looked like richard gere. everything was black and grey. it was sort of the best dream ever because we spent our days doing absolutely nothing but enjoying each other's company and a lot of Love. the best part was it was rainy all the time. seriously, this dream was quite tangled up. but definitely a break from all the nightmares i have been having.

you've got me wrapped around your finger, ah
do you have to let it linger?

i dream for the strength to stop these lies. maybe then, i can stop lying to myself, my family and my friends.
selfish, selfish me.
i despise me.
and i'm afraid of you.