i'm up and about early today because i need to get down to choosing which luggage i want to bring over to the states. my mom is awed at the amount i have shopped ever since this certain character walked out of my life. but i know she understands and i hope she knows what i'm going through even though i dont tell her much about my pain. my XXXX dollars have been put into good use for my temporary highs. but at the end of the day, we all know $XXXX cannot solve everything. there are just too many things i bought, my sister actually asked me why do i have so many presents. hmm yeah, presents to myself. i am my own secret santa.

right now my life could be perfect if you view it from a certain angle, but from my side of box, it's nothing near perfect. call me a cynic, but i have chosen darkness. but you know what is the best part of life? the best part of life is that you never ever have to relive it again.

phew.