I want to make a ray of sunshine and never leave home

The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia. Which I do need, in my present context, to combat. And apparently, "Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they are simply unable to get out of bed when Friday the 13th rolls around. The Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute estimates that more than 17 million people are affected by a fear of this day".

Well hey, Mary-kate and Ashley were born on Friday the 13th. Does that make me a little cooler?

I really don't know what I'm doing online when I have to a) flip through the dictionary fervently to cram in all the words I can for my SATs (yes I am such a geek) b) finish up the Paris Je T'aime dvd which my dad "accidentally" bought while having a splurging spree at HMV in hk and c) fill my sad sad stomach up with some food. But since I'm such a computer addict I'm staying put here. After all the only two places I frequent at home is in front of my trusty desktop and my bed, which I interestingly live in.

Last night we had a little family gathering at my uncle's place at Mt Sinai (just behind my place, but we still drove there anyways) to celebrate the April babies birthdays. The highlight of my day was when I forced my little boy cousins to hold my hand while I cut the cake together with them. They were so shy. But they did it anyway. I had whisky coated chicken wings which I made my dad eat since I'm such a gay. And the rest of the night was just spent doing irrelevant stuff. But I was embarrassed when my dad encouraged me to tell my uncles which college I'm thinking of applying to in the US. He looked so proud and happy. It made me want to work extra hard for my SATs. HENCE, I went to the computer and started practising SAT questions. I'm such a joke, sometimes. Maybe all the time.

Today at church Pastor Prince personally invited Addie and I to go sit on his seat in front of the whole church.... who clapped for us. And while I was sitting at Lido (in a very harmless state of mind, mind you) this pair of Japanese hill billy looking guys came up to me and asked if I was free to hang out with them. NO NO NO NO NO. Why do weird things only happen to me? I am special. Very very special. (that's what I always tell myself)

I finally mustered all my courage to check my account balance. Right now I need 300 dollars more to get myself back on track. So I need to sell off all my clothes.. haha no Addie, my long black skirt you've been eyeing wont be up on sale hahaha you DORK. HOW DARE YOU EYE MY CLOTHES?!?!?! It's equivalent to eyeing my boyfriend. Insert disappointed smiley here.

Bigh sigh.
Another week of coming back to an empty house.
Another week of school.
It honestly doesnt help that I'm doing very badly in school and certain teachers are being so anal and judgemental about me. I can cry all I want but nothing's gonna change the situation, except me.