Happy 17th birthday adelinie genie

I just had my dinner. (yes my meal times are screwed up)
My dad once told me that he thinks I have a very silly smile.

x

"I’ve got the gun,
All I need is ten cents for the bullet"

Vanessa, your heart is an empty room.
When are you ever coming home?

"She is walking on the clouds and falling in between the crowds,
She is trying and crying and dying but I'm still around."

I had three hours of sleep last night and I'm still wide awake now (when I have to wake up at 9am later) I keep screwing my sleeping time up everytime the weekend draws in. It's so bad for me, but I still do it. Just like how smoking is bad for you, but people still do it.

I need to stop living in my past and harping on 'what ifs' or 'if I had another chance, I'd do things a different way' I hate being hard to please. I hate having this sick feeling of emptiness every now and then. I hate knowing there's something missing in my life but not being able to pin point what is it. It's like a itch, but you don't know where to scratch. I hate the feeling when an old song plays on my iPod and memories of my terrible past comes back in a flash. Do you know how much it hurts? It's like going through every single emotion over and over again. But I'll never delete those songs. Never.

There's something missing. It's a terrible, terrible feeling.

I NEED TO GO BACK TO MY SKIN DOCTOR, PRONTO! so my schoolmates will stop secretly laughing at my bad skin and thinking that i wear blusher to school. dimwits. and my dad strongly suggests i join california fitness because i keep falling sick. well i honestly think when he gets me the membership i'll just go there to oogle at gays (not guys) and their hard asses. and maybe hang out at the snack bar or sth ha ha.

It's 5am now.
How come everyone reads but no one leaves comments?