I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE
I HATE MY JOB I HATE MY JOB I HATE MY JOB MY BOSS IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING. LIKE JUST FUCK OFF AND LET ME LIVE WHAT'S LEFT OF MY SAD AND BROKEN LIFE AND DONT MAKE ME COME BACK ON A SATURDAY. I AM NOT WALLOWING IN SELF PITY. I JUST NEED CHANGE. I NEED TO FUCKING CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE AND LEAVING THIS DUMB JOB IS THE FIRST STEP TO RECOVERING FROM MY PERSONALITY DISORDER.
the past few weeks.. there were countless times i questioned my existence and somehow i was convinced that things would be so much easier if i just disappeared. i believed that even if i killed myself (hand cuffed in my coffin, deformed body and all) i will still be at a happy place called heaven since christians dont believe in condemnation. oh the faith i have in my great god.
then i realised if i have so much faith bout how beautiful and happy heaven would be, how come i dont have faith that god will change my life and make it better.
HMMM. GOOD QUESTION.
meanwhile, im going back to alcohol.
the past few weeks.. there were countless times i questioned my existence and somehow i was convinced that things would be so much easier if i just disappeared. i believed that even if i killed myself (hand cuffed in my coffin, deformed body and all) i will still be at a happy place called heaven since christians dont believe in condemnation. oh the faith i have in my great god.
then i realised if i have so much faith bout how beautiful and happy heaven would be, how come i dont have faith that god will change my life and make it better.
HMMM. GOOD QUESTION.
meanwhile, im going back to alcohol.
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