back in singapores
i havent been asleep for.. ages. didn't sleep the whole of last night.. stayed up til 8am and went for my medical check up. came back and slept from 12-2.30pm. i have a nagging feeling i wont be able to sleep til 8am today. this is not how a jetlag is supposed to be...
in a way, i'm pretty happy to be back home. back to the land where i can communicate with people without trying to hide my singlish, back to the land where i have friends.. real friends. to be honest, after being abandoned by bev amongst her grp of friends in london, i start to appreciate my friends so much more.. just picture this: bev talking to someone, while i stand nxt to her awkwardly waiting for her to introduce me to her friend, or at least, include me in the conversation. but 5mins pass.. 10.. 20.. 30.. nope. i'm still standing there. and her convo with her friend is still on going. i honestly never felt so invisible in my whole entire life. i mean yea, i was invisible in vjc.. but this is ten times worse. and there are about like five other occasions but i dont wish to go further into that. bottomline: i am partially happy to be back in a land where i dont feel socially awkward.
played tennis today. it was so much fun even though my coach believed strongly in mental preparation which kinda annoyed me. i hope i can get better and finally play a decent game of tennis soon enough.
i'm still working on how i should ask my dad about jakarta.. haha. seriously, from now on he should just let me have whatever i want after making me go through 6 months of mental instability thanks to his indecisiveness about boston. that was a mouthful. but now we all know the truth about how poor my family is.. my dad should have just said it right from the start to reduce the shock and pain for his unsuspecting teenage daughter. i think before i left for france i went through a phase where i hated him and my mom (no reason why i hate my mom, she's just.. in the picture somehow). refused to talk to them for like a week... but i have finally snapped out of it after reading a book about this lady who blames everyone and everything (except herself) for her own shortcomings. when i read it i was like bam. that's me!!!!!! but that does not mean i have forgiven him for the emotional trauma he has caused me.
hahahaha. somehow, after reading that paragraph, i feel like i'm some drama queen. i'm out. i smell freedom everyday :)
in a way, i'm pretty happy to be back home. back to the land where i can communicate with people without trying to hide my singlish, back to the land where i have friends.. real friends. to be honest, after being abandoned by bev amongst her grp of friends in london, i start to appreciate my friends so much more.. just picture this: bev talking to someone, while i stand nxt to her awkwardly waiting for her to introduce me to her friend, or at least, include me in the conversation. but 5mins pass.. 10.. 20.. 30.. nope. i'm still standing there. and her convo with her friend is still on going. i honestly never felt so invisible in my whole entire life. i mean yea, i was invisible in vjc.. but this is ten times worse. and there are about like five other occasions but i dont wish to go further into that. bottomline: i am partially happy to be back in a land where i dont feel socially awkward.
played tennis today. it was so much fun even though my coach believed strongly in mental preparation which kinda annoyed me. i hope i can get better and finally play a decent game of tennis soon enough.
i'm still working on how i should ask my dad about jakarta.. haha. seriously, from now on he should just let me have whatever i want after making me go through 6 months of mental instability thanks to his indecisiveness about boston. that was a mouthful. but now we all know the truth about how poor my family is.. my dad should have just said it right from the start to reduce the shock and pain for his unsuspecting teenage daughter. i think before i left for france i went through a phase where i hated him and my mom (no reason why i hate my mom, she's just.. in the picture somehow). refused to talk to them for like a week... but i have finally snapped out of it after reading a book about this lady who blames everyone and everything (except herself) for her own shortcomings. when i read it i was like bam. that's me!!!!!! but that does not mean i have forgiven him for the emotional trauma he has caused me.
hahahaha. somehow, after reading that paragraph, i feel like i'm some drama queen. i'm out. i smell freedom everyday :)
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