Trance

today, i felt very lost before i left my house. somehow, whenever kawai is around in the weekends.. i never appreciate his existence. for example, when i'm with him and his friends, i'd rather talk to his friends. but everytime sunday hits me.. i hurt so bad. i did a really weird thing though. i fell asleep at his place last night, and when i woke up i told him about how my friend has no clothes to go home.. and how i have to google my way home. he didnt understand what i was saying so i repeated it twice.. but when he said huh again, i was fucking pissed so i just ignored him. haha! i honestly wasnt drunk or anything..

so back to me being lost. i was leaving my house to meet john and winson for paul van dyk at zouk (whoever that dude is..) and it hit me how i have so little girl friends. i miss jess so much. in fact, i have no one to confide to whenever i have girl issues. eg.. not being able to wear make up to camp. so i just tell my guy friends my problems.. and you know how guys are.. dickheads. but they are the only friends i have now. i felt so alone. so fucking alone.

had to leave halfway at zouk because bev called me crying.. crying like someone died. i went to meet her.. turns out she was crying cos her grandma refused to dry clean her d&g dress so it's all ruined now. hmm.

i drank like 6 shots of tequila at a go at zouk. 2 sambookas (sp?) a few other random drinks that were passed around.. probably red bull that's why i am still awake now. stole lightsticks from random guys and started dancing to TRANCE. now i know why they call it trance. cos we humans, honestly look like we're in a trance while dancing to it. but it's okay, because everyone looks bad together. in fact, i kinda like trance now. r&b is so passe.

it's 5.56am and i have to be at SMU at 10 tmr.