I'm sorry

this week. i lost a boyfriend and a best friend.

last night was a very quiet night. as i lay on your bed for the last time, my heart couldn't help but stop beating. although we did not speak, i could sense how much you were hurting.

last night was a very different night. for the first time, i let you do whatever you wanted, i even let you choose the dvd. for the first time, you didn't finish your food. for the first time, you didn't fall asleep before me. i woke up and all i saw was you watching me sleep from your side of the bed.. and when i stared into your sad eyes, my heart broke.

last night, you sent me off in a cab. i worry it might be the last time i see you. i worry that leaving might be a mistake. but most importantly, i worry about you.

this week. i lost a boyfriend and a best friend.
and right now, i can't stop shaking while i type this entry.. because no one will ever love me the way you do.