three words, eight letters.

i can't say those three words anymore. the L word is not about doubt and insecurity. i thought i fell in love, but in actual fact i think i fell apart..
the past three months have not been easy. i've learnt to second guess everything you say and i lost the ability to look into your eyes and believe like how i used to.

you're funny, forgiving, humble and loving. you're predictable, stubborn, condescending and lazy. i love how you take time out to meet me even though you had a really long day. i hate how you never follow through the plans you make with me.

i never asked for perfection but all i wanted was your time and affection. even though i got it on an occasional basis.. i realised it just wasnt enough for me. i think i have been lying to myself all along. what exactly do i want? i want you to want me enough to jump through hoops just to make me smile. i want you to know that for everytime i say "it's okay." it really means it's not fucking okay. i want you to bring me to nice places whenever you can. i want you to shower me with all your attention. i want you to not be embarrassed of me. i want everything.. but i need nothing.

i can't say those three words anymore. the L word is not about doubt and insecurity. i thought i fell in love, but in actual fact i think i fell apart.